MY FAMILY MY LIFE

IT IS TIME FOR ME TO POST.
RECENTLY I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR MANIC DEPPRESION AND PROBLEMS WITH MY DIABETES. I JUST FELT LIKE MY WHOLE WORLD WAS CAVING IN AROUND ME. IT SEEMED LIKE THE MORE I TRIED TO DIG MYSELF OUT THE MORE BURIED I GOT. I ALSO HAD ISSUES FROM THE PAST THAT WERE HAUNTING ME AND I COULD NOT SEEM TO LET THEM GO. I COULDN'T LET THEM GO BECAUSE I NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THEM. SOME OF IT I HAD BEEN HOLDING IN SINCE I WAS A YOUNG KID.
ONE NIGHT I JUST WANTED TO END IT ALL. THE ONLY THING THAT STOPPED ME WAS A PICTURE I HAD ON MY COMPUTER MONITOR OF MY MOM.
THERE ARE SOMETHINGS THAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM THAT TERRIBLE NIGHT. ONE OF THOSE THINGS I HAVE LEARNED IS THAT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY THAT LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM AND WILL STAND BEHIND ME IF I JUST LET THEM IN AND DON'T HIDE THINGS FROM THEM. NOTHING IS SO BAD THAT FAMILY CAN NOT HELP YOU OUT WITH EVEN IF IT IS ONLY MORAL SUPPORT. THE FAMILY I HAVE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD.
ANOTHER THING THAT I HAVE DISCOVERD ABOUT ME IS THAT WHEN THINGS ARE GOING BAD AND MY MIND STARTS RACING A HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR I NEED TO STEP BACK AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. ONE OF THOSE THINGS IS CALLING MY FAMILY AND TELL THEM THAT I AM NOT IN A GOOD FRAME OF MIND AND NEED HELP. I ALSO NEED TO KEEP TAKING MY MEDS BECAUSE WITHOUT THEM I CAN NOT CONTROL MY MOODS. AND THE FINAL THING IS LEARNING TO RELAX AND REDIRECT MY THOUGHTS ON SOMETHING ELSE UNTIL I CAN GO BACK TO WHAT I WAS ORIGIONALLY DOING AND FINISH.
I ALSO HAVE LEARNED THAT I HAVE OCD AND THAT IS A PROBLEM. I HAVE A TENDENCY TO TRY TO DO TO MUCH AT ONE TIME AND NOT REALLY GETTING ANYTHING DONE IN THE PROCESS. WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL I LEARNED SOME VERY THERAPUTIC WAYS TO CURVE THE OBCESSION OF TRYING TO GET IT ALL DONE AT ONE TIME. I AM STILL HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM WITH THIS AND STILL FINDING MYSELF TRYING TO HARD BUT AM GETTING BETTER. I HAVE ALWAYS HURRIED THROUGH WHAT I AM DOING TO SEE THE FINISHED RESULT NOT JUST AT HOME BUT AT MY JOB AS WELL AND IT HAS CAUSED ME SOME PROBLEMS IN THE PAST.
I LOVE MY FAMILY VERY MUCH AND HAVE PUT THEM THROUGH ALOT THIS PAST FEW WEEKS BUT THROUGH IT ALL THEY ARE STILL THERE FOR ME AND FOR THAT I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR STANDING BEHIND ME AND FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT