JOKE OF THE DAY

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could
just
put your trays up, that would be super.'
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and
rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked
you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the
ground.'
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a
Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which (I swear) the flight attendant re plied, without missing a
beat,
'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank
you.
Tray-up, Biatch.

HERE COMES PETER COTONTAIL

JUST WANTED TO TAKE THE TIME AND WISH ONE AND ALL A VERY HAPPY EASTER. I HOPE THE EASTER BUNNY IS VERY GOOD TO YOU ALL. I AM GOING TO GET UP EARLY AND CHECK THE WEATHER IF IT IS GOOD I AM GOING TO SPEND THE DAY FISHING. MAY THE EASTER FISHING GODS SMILE ON ME.

THE FENCE THAT DAD AND I BUILT

BEFORE
AFTER
TODAY WAS A GREAT DAY FOR ME. TODAY I GOT TO SPEND THE DAY WITH MY DAD. WE BUILT A FENCE TOGETHER AROUND THE BACK OF MY LITTLE HOUSE. IT WAS AN AWESOME DAY. I FEEL A LOT BETTER WITH THE FENCE UP. I LIVE IN AN ALLY AND I DO NOT LIVE IN THE BEST NEIGHBORHOOD. THE OTHER MORNING WHILE I WAS SLEEPING THERE WAS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR ABOUT 3:45 AM. I OPENED THE DOOR AND THERE WAS THIS CRACK HEAD AT MY DOOR WANTING TO KNOW IF HE COULD BUM A CIGARETTE. THE NERVE. SO NOW WHEN I COME HOME AT NIGHT I CAN CLOSE MY GATE LOCK IT AND DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT. IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE SECURITY BUT IT IS ALSO NICE TO HAVE MY OWN LITTLE PRIVATE BACK YARD TO LOOK OUT AT NOW. ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS I AM GOING TO DO IS PLANT SOME TOMATOES AND PEPPERS AND I EVEN MIGHT TRY TO PLANT A CUCUMBER PLANT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP TODAY DAD. YOU ROCK.I HAD A GOOD DAY WITH YOU AND I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.