THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE YOUR HUSBAND SHOPPING WITH YOU

On my day off, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips toWal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring andPreferred to get in and get out.Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved toBrowse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from theLocal Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Stephenson,Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite aCommotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have beenForced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Udren are listed below and are documented by our video surveillanceCameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'sCarts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to thewomen's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialVoice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. '
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M'sOn layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told otherShoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blanketsFrom the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he beganCrying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it asA mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, heAsked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudlyHumming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'MadonnaLook by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsedThrough, yelled 'Pick Me! Pick Me!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heAssumed a fetal position and screamed 'Oh No! It's Those VoicesAgain!
'And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waitedAwhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper inHere!'