JOKE OF THE DAY

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

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A FIRST FOR MY COUSIN ED

THIS WEEKEND WAS MY COUSIN EDS FIRST VISIT TO OUR FAVORITE FISHING HOLE. AND HE DID GOOD. HE CAUGHT HIS FIRST GOLDEN AND I THINK THAT HE ENJOYED HIMSELF. I WAS SO GLAD THAT HE GOT TO COME AND VISIT. WAY TO GO ED.

WHAT A WAY TO SPEND A BIRTHDAY

SATURDAY WAS MY UNCLE BUTCHS BIRTHDAY AND WHAT A WAY TO SPEND IT. HE GOT TO GO FISHING. I AM SO VERY THANKFUL THAT I GOT TO SPEND SOME TIME ON HIS BIRTHDAY DOING SOMETHING WITH HIM THAT HE ENJOYS.I LOVE YOU UNCLE BUTCH AND AM GLAD THAT YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING THAT YOU ENJOY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.

A GOLDEN WEEKEND

THIS WEEKEND WE HAD A VISIT FORM MY AUNT KERRY UNCLE BUTCH COUSIN DEE AND COUSIN ED.ON SATURDAY THE GUYS GOT TOGETHER AND MET OUT AT OSTER LAKES FOR A LITTLE FISHING RELAXATION. IT WAS A LITTLE SLOW OUT THERE THIS WEEKEND BUT WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT MY COUSIN ED HAS BEEN THERE AND HGIS FIRST FISH WAS A GOLDEN TROUT. HIP HIP HOORAY FOR YOU ED. MY DAD AND MY UNCLE BUTCH ALSO CAUGHT SOME NICE GOLDENS AS WELL. WAY TO GO GUYS I HAD A BLAST AND AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT TIME WE GET TO GO OUT THERE.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'
Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied,

'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A LITTLE TIME AND WISH ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN MY LIFE A VERY HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
MOM GRANDMA AUNT KERRY AUNT KAYE MY SIS KATHY AND LAST BUT DEFINATLY NOT LEAST MY COUSIN DEE. YOU ALL HAVE HAD AN IMPACT ON MY LIFE AND I AM A BETTER PERSON FOR IT. I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH AND WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST DAY POSSIBLE.

MORE ON THE DECK

I SPENT SATURDAY YARD SALING AND THRIFT STORING FOR ITEM FOR MY DECK AND FOUND SOME GREAT STUFF. WHAT DO YOU THINK

DON'T JUMP

ON THE WAY HOME TONIGHT THERE WERE A COUPLE OF B.A.S.E. JUMPERS ON THE BRIDGE. SO I STOPPPED TO TAKE A COUPLE OF PICTURES.

MY FAVORITE FISHING HOLE

OSTER LAKES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES TO FISH. OK IT IS A SMALL LAKE AND CAN GET CROWDED. BUT IST IS STILL A VERY FUN PLACE TO GO AND IS VERY RELAXING. TO ME IT IS ALSO VERY BEAUTIFUL. ESPECIALY IN THE MORNING WHEN THE SUN FIRST COMES UP.HERE ARE SOME PICTURES I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL. OH AND IT IS FULL OF GOLDEN TROUT.

MY FISHING COMPANION

I HAD A FISHING COMPANION TODAY. THIS CUTE LITTLE (WHO AM I KIDDING THIS HUGE) ROCK CHUCK CAME INTO THE PLACE WHERE I WAS FISHING TO VISIT AND EAT THE GRASS AROUND THERE. THEY ARE SO CUTE. LAST YEAR MOM AND DAD AND I WERE FISHING AND A BUNCH OF THEM CAME IN AND WAS CLIMBING THE MULBERRY TREE TO GET THE BERRIES. AND KEEP FALLING OUT OF THE TREE. OK THEY ARE NOT THE SMARTEST CREATURE THEY COULD OF JUST EATEN THE ONES ON THE GROUND LOL BUT THEY ARE STILL CUTE. I WANT ONE.

THE FISHING GODS BLESSED ME AGAIN

YEEEEEE HAAAAAW I WENT FISHING TODAY, AND BOY WHAT A DAY. FIRST OFF I GOT UP LATE SO I DID NOT GET TO MY FAVORITE FISHING HOLE TILL AFTER DAY BREAK. SO WHEN I GOT THERE I KNEW MY FAVORITE SPOT TO FISH WAS GOING TO BE TAKEN. SURPRISE I WAS THE FIRST ONE THERE. IT STARTED OUT GOOD THE FISH WERE BITING AND I HAD THE PLACE TO MYSELF FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF. I WAS CATCHING FISH BUT THEY WERE SMALL ONES. BUT I WAS STILL HAVING FUN. THEN IT GOT QUIET AND PEOPLE STARTED SHOWING UP. A FRIEND OF MINE PUT HIS LITTLE BOAT IN THE WATER AND AS SOON AS HE GOT OUT IN THE MIDDLE I CAUGHT MY FIRST GOLDEN WOW WHAT A FISH TO HE WAS HUGE HAD TO BE BETWEEN 2 OR 3 POUNDS AND WHAT A FIGHTER. IN THE NEXT HOUR I CAUGHT 3 MORE GOLDEN AND SOME NICE RAINBOWS AS WELL. ALL AND ALL I CAUGHT 27 FISH TODAY. YEEEEEE HAAAAAW WHAT A GREAT DAY. THE ONLY THING THAT WAS MISSING FORM TODAY WAS DAD AND UNCLE BUTCH.

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PRESENT

I ALSO WANT TO THANK MY COUSIN DEE ED AND NICK FOR THE AWESOME CD THEY SENT ME. IT WAS ONE THAT I HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME. IT IS CALLED DESPERATE SOULS SOUNDTRACK. IT HAS SOME VERY OBSCURE MUSIC. VERY HARD ROCK. AND THE MOVIE IS VERY DARK. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH GUYS I LOVE IT AND LISTEN TO IT ALL THE TIME. YOU GUYS ROCK AND I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH. I TRIED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF IT BUT IT WOULD NOT COME OUT.

MOVIE OF THE WEEK

HERE IT IS THIS WEEKS MOVIE YOUR HINT (A WOMAN PRTENDING TO BE A MAN PRETENDING TO BE A WOMAN)

THE QUILT THAT AUNT KERRY MADE

TODAY I GOT A PACKAGE FROM MY AUNT KERRY AND UNCLE BUTCH. IN IT WAS A WONDERFUL QUILT THAT MY AUNT KERRY MADE FOR ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE GETTING GIFTS THAT ARE MADE. THEY ARE MADE WITH LOVE. AWESOME JOB AUNT KERRY THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH I LOVE YOU AND UNCLE BUTCH VERY MUCH.